It’s finally here.  Today’s the day I’ve dreaded for weeks.  It’s my birthday.  And while most people look to their birthday as a day to be pampered and fawned over, I look at it as one big “what do you want to do” fest.  And I always have the same answer.  “I don’t care.”

 

Once you hit 35, there really is no point in the yearly celebration of your declining youth.  The aches, pains and wrinkles are enough to remind you of the fact.  You really don’t need gag gifts and Hallmark cards to tell you “you’re LOSING it!”  The fact that I walked out of my office last night without my purse is enough to tell me “I’m really LOSING it!” 

 

So to the immediate family members that kept calling me asking “What are we doing for your birthday?” my response is “nothing.”  To those who asked “What do you WANT for your birthday?” I say “I don’t care.”  Because I was told the response of “If I can’t eat it, drink it or spend it” was too rude.  Here’s a hint.  Anything blue or orange always looks good on me.  The good thing is I really don’t NEED anything.  I’m incredibly lucky.  I also don’t really WANT anything, which must mean that I’m pretty damned happy to start with.  I’m not trying to be difficult with my responses. 

 

So that brings me to the Big Angry Man who has had to deal with this annual dilemma for 16 years now.  Because he IS a typical man, he announced to me yesterday at work “If there really is ANYTHING you want to do, or want me to get you, PLEASE – TELL ME!!  Don’t expect me to just KNOW because I don’t.  If you tell me you don’t want anything but a card, THAT’S what you’ll get.”  To me, this is actually better than his normal trips to the jewelry store for items we can’t afford and that I really don’t need.  It took me ten years to break him of that habit; much to the dismay of our local Jeweler, Dorothy.

 

But the best thing he ever bought me was for our eleventh anniversary.  That’s when he had the Islander logo charm made up with the “55” on it.  Now every day I look in the mirror and wonder if I should have had him change it this year.  But to what?

 

When Bergenheim wore “#10” that would have made me feel like I was calling myself a “10” and it would have been embarrassing.  That’s also the reason I couldn’t go for Park either.  Now Bergie wears “20” and it does have some real possibilities.  But I’m not overwhelmed yet.

 

How about Captain Guerin?  A nice “13” would be sort of cool.  A number that is usually “unlucky” has never really been a problem for me.  How long is his contract?  Hmmmm… I may wait till February on that one.

 

Of course there’s “39”.  That will be with us till I’m dead.  It could also mean I’m saying I’m 39 FOREVER and that also works.  But Ricky certainly doesn’t need my support.  He’s got plenty from the rest of the world.  No, I need to promote someone who needs the attention.  Someone who will rise to the top if given the right opportunity.  Maybe I’ll give it till Christmas to see if another number feels right.

 

For now, I can’t part with my “55”, especially now.  If anyone ever needed a little cosmic support, I think it’s him.  It doesn’t feel right for me to turn my back on him right now.  So, the number stays while I think about it for a few more months.  The nice thing was that B  It’s not a bad thing that you’re keeping it.” And that made me smile.

 

So tonight I’ll pop the champagne, eat lobster and watch hockey.  It’s just a matter of where.  And then tomorrow morning I will wake up with a clean slate for a new year.  The bad thing is I’ll also wake up with the dread that is the pending holidays.  Because as much as I dislike my birthday, I hate Christmas even more.  Good grief!  Mimosas for breakfast are in order…. Probably every day from now till December 23^rd.  I better get that Xanex prescription refilled.

 

Pull a win for me tonight guys!  That would be a perfect gift from you.

 

PS:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO, CB!